Do women hate me?

Feeling attacked, judged and unappreciated.

A fire is warmest in the winter.

Since 2013, I have employed over 1,800 women in some form or fashion—mostly strippers. Since day one, I’ve had the best of intentions for them: to create a safe and empowering space where they can explore and express themselves while making a great living. A place built on respect, honesty, and freedom. A place that has challenged the norm.

I feel like we have accomplished that.

Rosewood truly does stand in a league of its own in this regard.

Most would say it’s the safest and most empowering space they have ever worked in.

Even so, I feel there is still a lot of work to be done.

So much opportunity for learning, for expansion, for expression, for abundance in all the ways.

This is what fuels me now…and where I see this industry going.

I renovated our space—not just physically, but energetically. To give the business a strong foundation to capitalize on the next 10 years.

But lately, I have been feeling at the center of a storm.

A conflict between woman and man.

I see men not loving themselves—beating themselves up—leading to destruction in their lives and relationships. I was that man in my 30s. I see women being caught in this self-destruction of men, becoming victims of the war within us. Losing trust and care for us. I see this cycle of betrayal destroying the deep, profound love we have for each other.

This is where our greatest opportunity lies.

Restoring trust and love—for each other and for ourselves. Admittedly, I’ve chosen the most challenging space to do it in: a strip club.

This is not a new mission. It started with myself - 8 years ago, when I hit rock bottom.

Since then I’ve done serious work to forgive and love myself again—to rise into the man I am today. I believe I had to do that work to prepare myself for this moment.

Now, I am seeing this opportunity play out in real-time within my own life and business…

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What has been challenging me most this past month are the women of my business. Specifically, the ones that have been questioning every step I have taken during this re-imagining of our home, Rosewood. They have been very vocal in their distrust and disapproval of me.

I have felt attacked, judged and unappreciated.

This hurts.

It hurts because I’m doing all I can —even when it’s hard. Everything about this process has been hard. It hurts because the ones that have attacked me have not asked me “where is this coming from?” or “how are you doing Kalin?”.

I set up my entire business to empower these women. They have freedom and autonomy. Our policies, protocols, and business structure are in their favor.

I’ve hosted workshops, produced a magazine, and created a Telegram group. I’ve supported their creative pursuits. I’ve listened. I’ve acted swiftly. Recently, I invested all of my savings into renovating the space into something beautiful and professional.

I’ve done all of this because it feels like the right thing to do.

Still, I am questioned.

Still, I receive very little curiosity or support.

Just last week, I hosted a volunteer day at Rosewood—an opportunity for these women to help put the final touches on their home. A home they are so vocal in protecting and call their own. Not one of them showed. Not one. This was after I spent three weeks straight working day and night - away from my newborn son.

It hurts.

So I find myself asking: Why have I given so much to these women? Why do I keep trying? Am I actually being effective at all?

All of this reminds me of when I bought my home. My then-girlfriend and I had just ended our New York City apartment lease, and I had closed on a 150-year-old house Upstate. I called it our home because I told her that if she wanted to call it home, she needed to invest $1 into it—and she did. I spent every dollar I had saved and every minute of the day renovating that house. I was so focused on making it a safe and comfortable home that I neglected our relationship. After a year, she broke up with me and moved out. She spent six months traveling the world while I continued working on the house - and myself. I hurt and I kept pushing. Today, we are happily married, with a son, living in a home we love.

If the woman I love more than anyone left me while I was devoted to building a home for our family, how can I expect these women to appreciate what I’ve done for them?

I can’t.

And I shouldn’t.

This is my reflection. My reflection inward.

I’m finding peace by looking within myself. Working from a place that is strong, grounded and confident in who I am and what I am creating. The bitterness, anger and sadness I have for these women and even my wife at times, can only exist if I feel this towards myself. There is just no way I can feel this way towards anyone if I have boundaries and am nourishing myself. Doing the things I love. Taking care of my body, my mind, my heart. Not trying to “fix” things that no one wants to be fixed, except for me.

If anyone reads to this point, I hope it brings us closer—because my intention remains the same: to build a home where men and women feel safe, empowered, and supported int their pursuit of expression and connection. I need this home for me too. I know women don’t hate me. I feel a large part of what I am experiencing now is from being misunderstood - and I hope writing about what I’m moving through helps bring clarity and connection.

If I can offer any advice (Substack loves advice), I’d offer this …

Men - Women don’t hate you. They love you very much and are waiting for you to step in. Even if they nock you down when you do - it’s just a test to see what your true colors are. Take ownership of how you feel. Are you giving from a full cup? If not, what can you do to take better care of yourself? Boundaries. Working out. Include your woman in your process. Being vulnerable along the way. Taking time and pausing when needed.

Women - Check in with your man, your boss. Ask how they are feeling? Offer to support them and ask for nothing in return. We need a safe space too.